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Movies are moving pictures that cheerfully re-depict the tragedies of other people. They accurately portray loss of life, limb, heartbreak, hatred and racism — which, astonishingly, the average moviegoer watches, stone-faced and expressionless, or perhaps munches his popcorn slightly faster than before.

The function of popcorn at movies is to make the moviegoer enjoy the experience he has paid so much to undergo. Psychologists have reported that the average moviegoer is less annoyed, when surrounded by patrons who don't know to close their mouths when they chew, when he has a bag of his own popcorn as well, or better yet, a soda that he can slurp noisily through the straw after it's all gone. (This is the source of the expression that revenge is a dish best served with crushed ice.)

The very first step in the process of making a new movie is "pitching" it. This event is only slightly less exciting than WWE Wrestling , and features many of the same moves. It pits the creative artist , who has no concept of economics but only knows he has the right to have his work seen by a huge, admiring audience , with film-making moguls , who through back-biting and treachery are sitting on billions of dollars of cash with utterly no concept of how to make any more of it.

The artist has to convince the moguls that his concept will be a "box-office success," even though neither of them know how badly the stars will bicker, how silly the dialogue will come off, and how cheap the special effects will look. The movie moguls, for their part, try to convince the artist either to work for nothing in hopes of burnishing his reputation, or to work for a tiny percentage of the profits , after the studio deducts its expenses and the moguls' own salaries, bonuses, junkets, and masseuses .

For example, the reader will recall that moguls "green-lighted" Star Trek for production after it was "pitched" to them as " Wagon Train to the stars." What the reader might not know is that this was the last in a series of less successful "pitches," which included that the show would:

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